Geography jokes
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
How do mountains see? They peek.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.
Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.
Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.
Official flag of Japan? The Sun.
Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
screw global warming
Why don't Indians like snow?
Because it's white all over their land.
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
Your hairline is farther back than the Mexican border.
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.