Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen and two towers.
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.
Why did the child cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
Why can't Americans play chess? Because they lost their 2 towers.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale? Because they lost their 2 towers.
If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.
Why can't an orphan go on away games?
Their parent will never show up!
There is a ghost baseball game and one team loses because of one player so they start booing him!
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
"AMONG US" AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US
What’s an orphan's favorite game?
Hide and seek.
Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD
Fortnite Android Beta
Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"
Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.
Why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so damn blind.
AMONG US IMPOSTER VENTED RED SUS AMOGUS EMERGENCY MEETING SABOTAGED DEAD BODY REPORTED HAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING...DINGDINGDING, DUN DUN
What is Riley Brown's favorite game? Tipping over people in wheelchairs.
Time for double joke Tuesday.
What is a bird's favorite letter?
A C gull.
So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.
Kid: You're a dick, you know!
Me: And you're a pussy, you know?
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."
Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."
Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."
So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."
And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."
Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."
I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.
