Furniture jokes
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?
The drawer has papers.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
Yo mama is so fat that her wheelchair had to be made into a couch!
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.
Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
How do you fit 3 gay men on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
What is white and fluffy? A peelo.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Yo hairline so far, that if you put tables on it, it would NEVER end.
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.