Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
What is white and fluffy? A peelo.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Yo hairline so far, that if you put tables on it, it would NEVER end.
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
A book just fell on my head. I’ve got only my shelf to blame!
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!
how to blind kids get punished? By moving the furniture around the house
"Chairing is caring, folks!"
How do you win a game of musical chairs? You steal the chair!
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
