Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."
Furniture Jokes
You sat on a chair with Uranus.
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
Best website ever 4 chair.
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-
My buddies think I'm on the lake.
Boss thinks I've been sick for days.
And mama's probably on her way
'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.
I've been a million places,
But they're all up in my head.
Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.
Took a trip down memory lane.
Checked into hotel heartbreak.
Passed rock bottom on the way
Without leaving my living room.
I've been a million places
But they're all up in my head.
Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.
Yeah
I've been gone.
All the clothes are on the floor
All the mail's by the door
All the whiskey bottles in my bed.
All the dishes in the sink
All the gas is in the tank
All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)
I've been gone (ooh, ooh)
Gone
Yo mama so fat that she broke the chair by sitting on it.
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
Drawers!
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.
Now ain't that cool?
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.
