Furniture jokes

Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.

Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?

Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.

I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.

I’m sorry, Chairy, but I don’t need four more legs.

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

What's an orphan's favorite store?

Ashley Home Store.

Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."

You sat on a chair with Uranus.

My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.

Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

Best website ever 4 chair.

What do you call a legless table? Nothing.

Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.

Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.

How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.

What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.

Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-

My buddies think I'm on the lake.

Boss thinks I've been sick for days.

And mama's probably on her way

'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.

I've been a million places,

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Took a trip down memory lane.

Checked into hotel heartbreak.

Passed rock bottom on the way

Without leaving my living room.

I've been a million places

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Yeah

I've been gone.

All the clothes are on the floor

All the mail's by the door

All the whiskey bottles in my bed.

All the dishes in the sink

All the gas is in the tank

All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

Gone

Yo mama so fat that she broke the chair by sitting on it.

What did the cat say when he fell off the table?

MEOM!

Drawers!