Furniture jokes
Yo mama so fat she needs to sit on 2 chairs.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
A book just fell on my head. I’ve got only my shelf to blame!
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
"Chairing is caring, folks!"
How do you win a game of musical chairs? You steal the chair!
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
Yo mama so fat, she fell off both sides of the bed!
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.