What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
I’m sorry, Chairy, but I don’t need four more legs.
What's an orphan's favorite store? Ashely Home Store
Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."
You Saturn a chair with Uranus.
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
Best website ever 4 chair.
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-
My buddies think I'm on the lake.
Boss thinks I've been sick for days.
And mama's probably on her way
'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.
I've been a million places,
But they're all up in my head.
Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.
Took a trip down memory lane.
Checked into hotel heartbreak.
Passed rock bottom on the way
Without leaving my living room.
I've been a million places
But they're all up in my head.
Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.
Yeah
I've been gone.
All the clothes are on the floor
All the mail's by the door
All the whiskey bottles in my bed.
All the dishes in the sink
All the gas is in the tank
All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)
I've been gone (ooh, ooh)
Gone
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
