Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
What Do you Call a homosexual in a Coma?
A Fruit & a Vegetable
A magician is driving but then he "turns" into a driveway. If u get this joke...u have no personality...at all. Send all the help u can get :).
Why do Down syndrome people alway look funny ... it’s there funny face
alright my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time and what i say is go get you boyfriend dude
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? Please take this down its not funny at all! Its a joke,not a dick,so dont take it so hard!
what do you call a amazing goat
a goat-zing
what do you call a fantastic goat
goatastic so funny please like
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside. He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see”
My life, haha so funny
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture
A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I'll f--ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don't have any money. She says ok I'll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up fuck.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words, "What are you doing with that rope and saw"
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year. Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, i give you bad luck for 7 years. Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him. I asks him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised, he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game
