Funny jokes
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Co- MOO!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Please take this down, it's not funny at all!
It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
My life, haha, so funny!
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."