Funny jokes

Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."

Nah, it's a penis.

Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.

Why does a chicken cross the road?

To poop and pee in the potty!

What's the difference between a snowman and a snow lady?

Snowballs!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Josh: Tell me something funny.

Mark: My life.

Why couldn’t the bike stand up?

Because it was “two tired”!

Fuck you people who made those jokes! (but some were funny but the starving one is messed up!)

I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.

An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."

Are you getting the funnies?

Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?

You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?

What do they call me when I jack off?

Pulled pork.

When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.

He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"

Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.

One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.

Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...

Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.

What do you call black people in pool?

Coco Pops.

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.

So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

Why are mountains so funny? Because they are so high!

What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!