Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?
While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.
Cremation, The last chance for a smoking hot body.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral. This friend asks his wife "Can I say a word?" "Of course" she says. The man stands up and says "Plethora" The man's wife says "Thanks, it means a lot"
/Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" "To the morgue." "What? But I’m not dead yet!" "And we’re not there yet."
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?" Doctor: "To the morgue." Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor." Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
What's black and white and red all over? A massacre at a funeral.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawkins coffin
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
ur mom gae
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say "You're next". So I started poking them at funerals and saying "You're next" to my friends.
They say masterbation is better with a dead arm
Apparently I ruined that funeral
My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward
Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin!
Where would you take Stephen hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC world
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
