Fucking jokes
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
Ugh... I hate Anons so much, they're annoying as fuck.
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
Wait, this is the category "dick." Sorry yours isn't long for yo mama to get fucked up.
I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.
BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"