Fruit jokes
What’s black and white and red all over?
A Milano’s cherry.
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.
I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
You know what they call pineapples in Paris?
I don't know, what?
Anus.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
What is yellow and smells like bananas?
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."
Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."
And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.