Fruit jokes
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
What is the postman's favorite fruit?
Water-mail-on.
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
Why does an orphan hate apples? Because they get picked on more.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange who?" "Orange you coming?"