Fucking Fruit
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said "Berry Christmas!"
My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh this, I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
when you don't have a phone to play fruit ninja and improvise
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner So he says fruit ninja with his wrists
I downloaded fruit ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The Apple falls from the tree
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I canteloupe.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey
So Johnny was working at a deli, a woman walks up and asks, do you have any salad? Johnny says no, she asks? What about carrots? Again Johnny says no, she says what about bananas? Johnny says "tell ya what, spell out "lad" in salad" she spells L A D, Johnny replies "spell "rot" in carrot" she spells R O T, Johnny says "now spell "fuck" in vegetables or fruits" she says "there is no fuck in vegetables or fruits" Johnny exclaims "thats what ive been trying to tell you!"
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion". The first guy came back with 10 apples and by the second one he started to grunt so he was killed and eaten. The second one came back with cherries and when he went to put the 10th one in he started to laugh so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven and the first guy said" dude you were so close what happened?" The second one said" I would have made it but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!"😝😝🤣🤣
what did the banana say to the banana
u look a-pealing
What is purple and wines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a Suicide bomber in a wheel chair? A RC-XD.
What is the difference between a Apple and a Orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
