Fruit jokes
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
What does an apple and an orphan have in common?
One gets picked.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
What do you call a banana driving a car?
A banana car.
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
What do apples and emos have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.
I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.