Friendship jokes

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

I'm not racist, my best friends are black for Halloween. :)

Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.

Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”

The reason that girls are not allowed in boys' treehouses is because girls can't keep their mouths shut about boys taking turns sucking each other's hotdogs.

My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.

My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.

Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?

A: Wanna hang out?