Friendship Jokes

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.

The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

I have a friend called Jakob and asked him, "Where my crackers are?"

Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"

Let me tell you a story.

There once was a bro who constantly choked on chodes.

He didn't want his bros to ever know that he constantly choked on chodes.

He lived in a dorm, and all day he watched porn, but still he would suck on some corn.

One day he would go to choke on some tasty chode, but his bros found out, gave him a shout, and kicked him out yelling that he broke the bro code.

"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"

Me: Jaiden telling orphan jokes to my friend.

That orphan behind me...

So guys, I have a friend who is named Sarah, and I was riding bikes with her the other day, and she told me she is gay. I totally support her. I love that she is open about it and not scared to tell people about it. I hope you guys can support her too! I love you all! :)))

Let’s stick together!

Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.

Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.

Sans: Kid, I will kill you.

Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see his friend.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

If you want to see what I look like, then pics will be coming soon!

But freshfry, how are you!

Oh, and this is Cassie, aka princess shortie!

Hey woah man, and Alya how are you guys? Oh and hbu jk master? How is life right now? Is it hard? You wanna talk?

Hey Alya and JK Master, how are you guys doing? No one being an ass to you guys today, right? If so, I'll beat them up :)

Alya and freshfry wondering where the hell Alex is!

Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!

Why do asscheeks make great friends?

They always stick together!

My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.

I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.

The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."

Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"

I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"

Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"

John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.

By Lewis

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he wanted to get to the other side and meet his friend.