Friends jokes
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
"I told my black friend a joke. I told him he needs to lighten up!"
Tj if you don't stop trying to ruin Gwen and Prince's relationship then I will scream!!!!!!!!!!
It's some dumb faker and what point of she just wants to be your friend do not understand!
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
What do you call your retard friend?
A homie with an extra cromie.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys' name is Jack. The other is Peter.
Peter: "Hi Jack."
Flight Attendant: "You're going to hijack the plane?!?"
Jack: "No, my name is Ja-"
Flight Attendant: "Everybody stay calm! These two men are going to hijack the plane!"
Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*