Friends jokes
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Your forehead and your hairline must be friends, because they go way back!
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?