Friends jokes

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

A friend asked what an acorn is.

I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

Friend: May.

Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Why are the two friends like the Twin Towers?

They fell apart.

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."

What do emos do when they meet up?

They hang out.

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

What does a gun and gum have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.

Me: How do cowboys say hello?

Friend: Howdy.

Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?

"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)

My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".

My friends: "I dare you to go home."

Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.

My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.

Hahaha :)

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!