Friends jokes
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
Memes
TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.
TJ's hairline is so far back his friends don't even want to talk to his ugly ass!
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.
What do you call my friends?...
Short.
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!
My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!