my friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago. he can tell the future.
friend: Hi! me: who are you? friend: ...your friend? me: what are you talking about the doctor already said I couldn’t have any
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they day dream they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it
I noticed my friends hairline yesterday I could tell it was a super cuts hair Solon hair cut so how I could tell was cuz it was super alright, super lame
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tryed to fight me so i said: IF you wanna fight me ill run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs ill already be down the stairs waiting and he started crying
your forehead and your hairline must be friends because they go way back
I was walking with my black best friend and he was meeting my parents and after I got there they said who’s this? I said well I own him
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers and he took away my queen.
what did the japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody? that is very wong.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week? Everyone was furious but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus Friend: No? Person: Exactly
My best friend was Was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one
"A friend with weed is a friend indeed"
My friends in my friend group says that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad, I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it
So I was watching YouTube and then my Friend says “Those videos never get old” and I replied “Just like a Make-A-Wish kid” and after I said that he shot me in the head and said “And now neither do you.” And now I’m in heaven and God says to me “Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies and I said “Are there summer women” and now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero. After he killed Hitler
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something-I don’t remember. Then I replied TOUCAN play that game. He went silent and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you thick he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one and I ended it by saying, “Ok, lets MOOOOOve on cow[now]” Welp that’s it.
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar. An hour or so goes, then the new flame says, I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice,food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there? His friend ok, Watch this. He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool,pulls down his zipper and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin,cleaned himpulled up his zipper then jumped to his chair. Walked back to his new gay friend and said what do you think of that? MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that! His squeeze said wanna give it a try? I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey. how's that?
Kids uncle " your mum said you can have your friends round tonight ! But imma have to baby sit today" . Kid "OK THANK YOU". (AT BED TIME ) Kid " Please may u stop touching my leg BEN!" Ben "im not " (turns light on ) Kid " UCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME !!!"
Gregg says to his friend which is a girl and Says" hey umm do you umm want to do something?" And the girl says" umm sure why not." Gregg says" well then we have to go somewhere secretive." the girl says " umm well ok." Gregg says "great" So Gregg bring Sally to a tree so no one can see them and then Sally says "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?" Gregg says "well pull down your pants and all show ya" Sally says "ok it sounds fun" And then gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy and he goes up and down up and down up and down and then Sally starts to moan more and more and then suddenly a teacher here's her moan and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing and then the teacher gets in on it and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher and then the teacher moans and then the whole school makes their own sex groups and the whole school has threesomes... THE END
