Friends jokes
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
My friend is a pimp.
I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.
Friends = your power level.
Emo kid = power level: 0000.
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: I don't know anymore.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
What did I say to my friend? "Job, your new name is Jojo Siwa."
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
Friend: What goes up but not down?
You: Your age.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
What do you call my friends?...
Short.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.