Friends jokes
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
Our Deaf Friend
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
Why don't orphans have any friends?
Because they don't have homies.
Friend: Hey, wanna race home?
Orphan: What home?
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.
What do you call a friend in space?
Space friend.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.
Me vs. the emo kid: we go to high-five a tree. I get a high five; the emo kid is left hanging.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”