Friends jokes

Emo kid

Me vs. the emo kid: we go to high-five a tree. I get a high five; the emo kid is left hanging.

Orphan

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

Drink

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

Memes

Poem

"Discuss the synopsis of this poem: My Friend Billy Has A Ten-Foot Willy."

Sleep

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

Mom

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....

Fireplace

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

Museum

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."

Dwarf

Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...

...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.

Friend

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

Baby

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

Girlfriend

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

Orphan

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.