Friends jokes

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.

For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?

Because you cannot break the ice.

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.

I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."

All these people on here making me wish I knew them IRL.

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!

I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.

Friend: Hey, wanna race home?

Orphan: What home?

Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.

Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"

Friend: "Your blood pressure!"

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"