my mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge would you me: No Attack on titan music starts playing in my head
"When you mom is pregnate and your best friend learns dad jokes" Me:.....
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids when he came out the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire , they called him hot wheels
I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said spiderman, no way home. I said "Proabaly becuase its so relatable, right?" He started crying I dont know why.
Me:bro i don't think the twin towers will ever order pizza again friend: why Me: because when they ordered pepperoni all they got was plane
A kid went and cot a hair cut, the day after he went to school, and a friend says " I like your cut", and he replies "which one?"
Discuss the synopsis of this poem. My Friend Billy Has A Ten Foot Willy.
Bro I love hanging out with bullys, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends on 2 came out where are the others?
(getting brutaly murdered)
My friend showed me his broken finger and i said JESUS, he said his name is Jake
My friend said they were going to make a come back I told them to do it at the back of the throat
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had I said “yes”
Yea man! Life is wonderful! But, when u realise all of the ones u loved we're fake. And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice. Is 13 age too young for dying? Am i just paranoid? I'm scared.
My Friends- Maya-I only Get 9 hours of sleep.-Josh- 9 hours I get 7 hours of sleep- Noah-You get 7 I get 4 hours of sleep-Me- You Guys are getting sleep. . .
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas. He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them
Fat person: "Hey, whats up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure"
Nobody really liked our fireplace. So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why but now everyone likes our fireplace.
The other day I went to a museum, my friend and I went to the holocaust section and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him. Why are you sad it’s just an Ash tray
A husband came back from business trip and found out that she was pregnant at first he got a bit suspicious but then he just ignore And hugs his wife with happiness the second when he meet his friend and tell him the news the friend just said " wait what I thought she was on pill"
