Friends jokes
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
My friend was annoying me with bird puns. I realized toucan play at this game.
I have a friend called Jakob and asked him, "Where my crackers are?"
Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.
I love fire. My friends love it too. When I set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
I unfriended Paul Walker on Xbox because he was always on the dashboard.
For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!
Why can't orphans have friends?
They will stay together.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side and meet his friend.
I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.