get a calculator. ok anyways sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs)and her friend said it was 222 many,she got caught by the police and was taken to 51 street.she got arrested for x8 days,so she was BOOBLESS
*Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman*
What would you rate this woman?
A 7
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
My friend: you ever feel like life is pointless *drives faster* Me: yea- My friend: if you could die with one person who would it be? *speeds up more* Me: H-hey you should slow down! slow down slow down! were about to-
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later? I said yea I was gonna hang there
I had a friend who was a dwarf..... he committed suicide........he jumped of a curb
Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends? Because it’s a fungi.
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, I hope that wan't to much to (Handel), (Dont) let it (Strauss) you out. For all of my musicians out there!
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
Guy walks to his friends house his friend says “where is your girlfriend” guy says meet me at the cemetery in a week you’ll find out
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult. I’ll be hanging with them for a while
Me-"Whats the difference between an apple and an emo" Friend-"i dont know" Me- an apple actually falls from the tree
What dose a peice of gum and a gun have in common
You pull one out everyone wants to be your friend
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy and his owner beats him.
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch)
Why did Steven hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
When a asteroid is coming to kill us all: 98.9% of the population: OMG WERE ALL GONNA DIE 1% of the population: eh.. I neber had any friends anyway. Alia: ROLL THE INTRO
(me)I know why u don't have friends. (kid) why? (me) because u can't even figure that out.
I was joking about self harm to my friend and she told me to CUT it out, I couldn't even laugh. When we were at the self checkout she started scanning my arms, I asked her what she was doing she said, ̈Trying to see if it beeps, ya think id get it to work if I scanned your thighs? ̈ I said, ̈Nah bro you'd overload the system if you put it there. ̈
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them they disappear.
what do a bag of chips and a gun have in common? when you pull either one out in class everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
