Friends jokes
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bone."
"Bone who?"
"It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."
Friend: You are joking.
Me: Joking on deez nuts.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.
The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.
Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.
The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.
Why are baby elephants so smart? They hang out with friends!
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?