Friends jokes

Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.

Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!

Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?

I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.

One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.

After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."

So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?

Friend: Why?

Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

My friend, what's up?

Me: What's up in space is planets and stars.

Guys, I am Aly's friend, Ava. Come over here.

I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"

I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"

What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?

Lego, so he can build a home.

I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.

When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;

I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.

He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.

I asked, "Where are you going?"

He said, "Camp Bin Laden."

I asked, "What do they do there?"

He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."

I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"

He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."

My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."

Little did I know it was just at prison.

I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.

I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.

My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?

Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.

"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."