Friends Jokes

Me: good night everyone My friends and family: night Me: *gets in coffin* My family: *stares at my friends* you aren't going to do something?!? My friends: *to my family* nope, this is normal.

your hair line is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs

What do you call it when every one of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My girl friend broke up with me and I took her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back

get a calculator. ok anyways sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs)and her friend said it was 222 many,she got caught by the police and was taken to 51 street.she got arrested for x8 days,so she was BOOBLESS

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever, and his friend asked did you get any head and the guy said no I couldn't find it.

my friend was in a crash so when he got put in a wheelchair people bullied him so i told him to stand up for him self

I was laughing my ass off when the 12 year old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival 🤣🤣🤣

Guy walks to his friends house his friend says “where is your girlfriend” guy says meet me at the cemetery in a week you’ll find out

What dose a peice of gum and a gun have in common

You pull one out everyone wants to be your friend

I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.

Me-"Whats the difference between an apple and an emo" Friend-"i dont know" Me- an apple actually falls from the tree

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "yep that's definitely Joe," but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that's not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "yep that's definitely Joe," but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that's not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, "how is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?" The 1st friend said, "well you see Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious? the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there's Joe with those 2 assholes."

A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?

On the COWch (couch)

Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!"

She gave him a puzzled look. "on what?"

"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."

Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."