Friends jokes

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."

Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?

I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.

That one depressed friend.

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.

Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?

Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.

Too bad only one was standing. :)

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

Why do emos have friends?

So they can hang with each other.

What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?

"We are Pickle Ricks!"

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."