Friends Jokes

Me: Hey how are you? Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3 Insomnia: Mommy can we get a home? Anxiety: Insomnia wait for mommy to finish. Depression: Anyway here is my resume! Me: Okie thank you, Ok... mhmmm.. WOW! Okie this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it..) Depression: Also I have 2 more friends that want to move in too! Me: Ok and there names? Depression: There names are: PTSD and Trauma! Me: Ok they seem fine (Doesn't know about them) Depression: Okie here is the money (a penny :() Thank you we will call you if we need anything. Me: Ok see you soon! :3 Me now hates my life. :)

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."

I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there!" Not Suzy.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words, they wanted to hear them. They are: you still holding the ladder

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said go look in a mirror. I said thank you.

why did the tomato cross the road to ketchup with his friends on the other side

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

me: can i get ur mom number? friend: here u go: me: ohh strange i already had it.

My friends hate when i make skeleton jokes.I guess i need to put more backbone into it.

Literally every movie:

"I love you" "I love u too"

My life:

My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes u!" Him: "wtf I have a grilfriend sorry not sorry" His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country". 😶

A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral. This friend asks his wife "Can I say a word?" "Of course" she says. The man stands up and says "Plethora" The man's wife says "Thanks, it means a lot"

My friends were the pilots on 911 they told me. "bro chill its just a prank."

Kid: Dad where are you going

Dad: To get milk

TEN YEARS LATER

Kids friend: wheres your dad

Kid: he went to get milk but never came back

So I was f*****g this b***h right, and I thought I had aides. So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get aides. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight year old get aides?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

My friend said onions only cry so that’s why I threw a coconut at him

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the libraryin told him to be quit? Pulled out a silencer.

Hey guys how was ur day? If you ask me the same question heres the answer, depressing. I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old, D.K, freshfry, ALYA's "Jokes" or opinions.