Friends jokes

So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.

Me: Can I borrow your CD?

Friend: What CD?

Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.

Me: Jaiden telling orphan jokes to my friend.

That orphan behind me...

So guys, I have a friend who is named Sarah, and I was riding bikes with her the other day, and she told me she is gay. I totally support her. I love that she is open about it and not scared to tell people about it. I hope you guys can support her too! I love you all! :)))

My friend made a joke about dogs. I said it was a RUFF joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see his friend.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?

Me: He could feel it in his bones.

Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!

Heheh ;3

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

Friends = your power level.

Emo kid = power level: 0000.

You: I have a nice hairline.

Your friend: Since when do you have one?

You: I forgot.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

Dwarfism is a growing problem.

Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.

He jumped off a curb stone.

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

The name is Ash, Johnathan Ash. My friends call me Jack.

Why can't orphans call their friends?

Because they don't have a home phone!

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!