Friends jokes
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
What do you call a group of teenage emos?
Suicide squad.
My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
My friend is gay lol. I'm a spagetie fucc, lemme smash, Becky!
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
Merry Christmas, my fellow hoes!
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
Why did the fridge have lots of friends?
Cause it was COOL.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Orphan Friend: Sure.
Friend: Parents.
Other: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.