Friends jokes
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
My friend Harry.
joanna be like
Guys, add me as a friend in Roblox. I'm hawaiilover973 :D
To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."
Why can't orphans have friends?
They will stay together.
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》
"Nun" kills the two guys.
🤔
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?
Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.