Friend jokes
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.
I don't know, my friend did it.
Riley....I...I think I wanna be more than friends.
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
To anyone who wants to be my friend:
Hello.
Does anyone wanna be my friend? Please if ya' do reply to my: "Hello." In the chat. Tysm. Have a greaat day!
Alex <3
Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!
To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.
Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.
"Was it hung?" her friend asks.
"No, he was shot."
Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.
To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"
I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Impatient feminist.
Friend: Impati--
Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.
Hey guys, how was your day?
If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.
I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.