New Friend Jokes - Page 57 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.

My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.

"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.

"Heard of what?"

"Herd of cows."

"Of course I've heard of cows."

"No, a cow herd."

"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.

He thought it was eggcellent.

I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.

My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.

What's the difference between me and my best friends?

At least one of us has a house.

My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.

I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!

My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.

dcfdf

My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

I have more STDs than Hicks has friends at the moment. I only have one.

I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.

To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

What is killing your friend called?

A homie-side.

A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.

To not be outdone, the blond retorts:

"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"