Food jokes
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
Are you a hotdog stand? 'Cause you make my hotdog stand ;)
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked!
What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?
They both are hung.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!