Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.
Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.
Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"
Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Why do people eat food?
Coz it tastes good lol.
Noob butter eater.
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
What do you call Autistic kids baking?
"Downies" with brownies.
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.
Orphans have tasted all cookies except for homemade ones.
Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.
Why can't Asians play Baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
