Food jokes
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
1 like = 1 more child in my fryer.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
One of them has a family tree.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Because an orphan doesn’t have a family.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising flour.
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."