Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
Food Jokes
Egg?
How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender.
How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
Three friends were stuck in the desert. They were struggling and trying to find food when they found a magical lamp. They rubbed it and out came a genie, and the genie says, "Each of you friends get to have one wish." So the first friend said, "I wish to go home," same as the second one. The third friend said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were with me!"
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
Can orphans go to a family restaurant?
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
What do you call fake noodles?
Impasta!
