Food jokes
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.
I woke up and my pillow was gone.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.