Food jokes
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.
I woke up and my pillow was gone.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!