Food jokes
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you take them out?
A: With Doritos!
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
What's a dumbfuck's favorite condiment to put on his burger?
Re-tarter sauce.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered Domino's but got jets.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!