Flight jokes
I wrote a joke on MH370… but I don’t know where it went.
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
What can fly?
Bird.
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
I'm having lunch on the roof of the Twin Towers, and the biggest plane I've ever seen is flying toward...
What did the tower say to its twin? "Hey, is that a plane?"
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.
Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window, and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down, and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” I know.
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"Let’s talk later, I gotta catch a plane."
What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?
A Boomerang.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.