Flight jokes
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
Community talk
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lucy, who was known for one peculiar thing: she could not stop farting. It wasn’t just an occasional squeak or puff—it was a full-on symphony of noises, each more unpredictable than the last.
It all started one Saturday morning when Lucy was helping her mother bake cookies. As they mixed the dough, Lucy felt the pressure building. She tried to hold it in, but the more she foc… Read more
My cat just roundhouse kicked my face. He also just ran around my house because some light scared him.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? Well, that's alright, because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry? Well, that's alright, because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like And right now, there's a steel knife in my windpipe I can't breathe, but I still fight while I can fight As long as the wrong feels ri… Read more