La Jokes

Hey Siri, where is my dad?

Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!

Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

...WhAT-

lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.

Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.

Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”

“Under my bench,” he replies.

What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?

Consensual Rapper 7.

EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!

You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.

Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.

While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."

So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?

The Las Vegas shooting.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Alex.

Alex who?

Lalicks your balls.

Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?

Beth-la-ham

If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.

COVID is like fashion...

We started hearing about it in Italy...

Became popular in LA and NYC...

Florida ignored it...

And it was all made in China in the end.

"Squid Game" doll be like: "Gugu la gu, your mom, my balls!"

What is the best la?

A koa-la!

What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

¿No sabes el chiste de Pocoyó? Tan Pocoyó.

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

I like big butts in the Kent, la la "hehehe" SUS.

Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.

What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.