Fish jokes

What does Nemo have in common with my dad?

They both can't be found.

What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?

Freeze burgers.

What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.

(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.

Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Nothing, because fish can't talk.

A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.

What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.

What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?

Cat-egories.

Get it?

What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?

“Good evening, ladies.”

How did the shark do on his math test?

Jawesome!

I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...

Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Answer: Damn!

Why did Harry fall out of the boat?

Because he's hooked!

What do mermaids wash their fins with?

Tide.

What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?

"I sea him!"

A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.