Fish jokes
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
Why is the ocean blue?
A: Because the fish go, "blu-blu."
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
Yo mama so stupid she thought seaweed was something fish smoke.
What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.
What is shark's favorite day?
Chewsday.
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!