Fired jokes
Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
Because he got fired!
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
What happened when the fire used Tinder?
He luckily got a lot of matches.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
Apex Legends: exists.
Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
With their FIRE LYRICS!
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
Three cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.
Cowboy 1 says, "I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands."
Cowboy 2 says, "I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb."
Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.
I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.
What begins in F and ends in UCK?
Fire truck.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!