Fired Jokes

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Momma's House-By-watersharky Productions and Dustin Lynch- I see your face on every street, every corner, couple trees Even got her name on 'em I feel your love, I hear your laugh, got them take me way on back Hurt me memories, I don't want 'em Up and down the boulevard In and out of every bar I'd burn this whole town down Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground Baby, I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house I would start it where we started, at the downtown party Where you kissed my lips and stole my beer The city park in the dark where we looked up at the stars Watched them fireworks pop last year It started under that Texaco sign where you said goodbye I'd get some gas and drop a match right there I'd burn this whole town down Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground Baby, I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house Fire red flames, sunsets in the sky Going out, staying in, staying up long nights Now I'm waking up alone, wishing I could move on Blocked your number in my phone, thought it help but it don't I'd burn this whole town down Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground Baby, I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house

Random person: minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life Me: well screw life maybe if i light a fire on myself i will go to minecraft (my excuse for suicide)

I told my cousin since we're not blood related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.

A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!!"

The big chimney said next to him: "Well, your to young to smoke..."

Logic fire bars in fottntoe sped up to sound like he chipmmumnun like Alvin and Simoen ans z Theode :)

Fuck and sex are hot which is fire

This is a classic,

Why did the Dog go into the fire? Because it wanted to be a hot Dog

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

what do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchiar on fire.-Cooking the vegetables.

This whole string is really messed up. Yall should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said "HES ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALA"

Why is black mystery not an airhead flavor? Because we already know what happened to them *shot fires*

roses are red my pencil is blunt, parrot trapped on roof keeps telling fire crew to f*ck off

I pushed the disabled kid into a fire then called him hot wheels

Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies? My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence)

there was a kid in a wheel chair i put him on fire called him hotwheels

steven hawkinig never used a condom he used a fire wall

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost.

What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?

"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE”