Fired jokes

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.

The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.

Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.

Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?

The top of the stairs.

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!

Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.

Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"

Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".

"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"

Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."

Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."

I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."

What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?

Answer: Hot wheels...

My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

What do you call California during a forest fire?

Completely normal.

What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?

Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."

Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he'll be warm the rest of his life.

What is the difference between me and a fire?

It's hot.

I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.

One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:

"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"

"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."

"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"

"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"

"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"

What begins with F and ends with CK?

Fuck, I mean fire truck.

"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."

What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?

Hot Wheels...