Fired jokes
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!
"Fuck" and "sex" are hot, which is fire.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to cook up some FIRE BARS!
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What is red and puts out fire?
One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."
The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."
The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.
My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common? They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.