Fired jokes

Fire

    • Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

    A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

    Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

    Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

  • 24
    • Fired memes

    Poem

    • In Mia's world, where bottles and parrots meet, A whimsical symphony takes its seat.

    With feathers ablaze, the parrots take flight, Their vibrant hues painting the day with delight.

    Mia, a dreamer with a heart full of glee, Embraces the beauty for all to see.

    Her bottles, like whispers of stories untold, Capture the magic that time cannot hold.

    Each bottle, a vessel of dreams and desires, Unveiling the soul's deepest fires.

    They dance in the sunlight, sparkle and gleam, A kaleidoscope of colors in Mia's dream.

    Parrots, enchanting with melodies rare, Sing ballads of love, floating through the air.

    Their voices, like echoes of nature's sweet call, Enchanting all hearts, big and small.

    Mia, with reverence, sets the parrots free, To soar across oceans, to distant lands and seas.

    In their freedom, they find their truest grace, A testament to love's boundless space.

    And as Mia's bottles journey afar, They carry her dreams, like a guiding star.

    Through mountains and valleys, they'll forever roam, In the hearts of dreamers, they'll always find home.

  • 2

    • Cat

    • How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

    You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"

    Burglar

    • A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"

    The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"

    The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"

    The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"

    The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."

    The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.

    As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"

  • 0

    • Sound

    • There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.

  • 52

    • Fire

    • Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

    That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

    Fire

    • Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

    That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

    People

    • 9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.

    2 people bought plants.

    3 people bought shovels.

    1 person yelled.

    3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.

    1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️

    Man

    • 22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

    24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

    31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

  • 0