Finger jokes

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.

Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!

Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.

Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.

Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅

Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.

2019, where you can change your gender at a snap of a finger.

What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?

Finger food.

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.

Say, "Crack my fingers."

Now say that backwards...

Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?

Because it's finger lickin' good!

I am counting my fingers and get nine. Why?

What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.

An Irishman, Englishman, and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness.

Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away, and demands another pint.

The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches into the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers, and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"

Go commit Thanos finger snap.

I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.

I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.

Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.

This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.

"Fuck me, Jarry."

All school meeting introductions:

Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”

What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?

You better not lay a finger on her!