One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really really horny. Jack who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck" she said as she stroked his ever hardening one-eyed snake. "Yeah, i'll have both of them" said Jack who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that they both contracted AIDS, and died of it as they did not see a doctor. THE END
Did yo uhear about Hellen Keller falling down the well? She screamed her little fingers off
sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by colonel sanders. he asks them, what is your occupation? they respond we are semen. so he says well you better wash up cause i'm finger licki'n good!
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house. I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games." Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
A pedophile is at a School Parent night. He's holding hands with a Eight year old Girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him oh what a darling little girl you have there. The Pedophile replies no then points his finger to a child across the room and says that's my child.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?
When you finger her you get your palm red for free
I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
omg I had a really good hand joke but i just couldn't put my finger on it.
Hey can u hold this for a second
How do you keep a mute women you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
Whats two lesbein.in a tent finger hut
Why did the guitarist go to prison? Cause he fingered A minor
How do u finger a feminist, shake her hand and call her Theresa
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
What to do you do after you rape a deaf girl? Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
You know chords right? Well You know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sence of power, to just F A-minor.
But thats not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's Just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or though a bit tricky the D of minors ito the B og minors.
And at this point you've gotten the point and if i want to continue it would be a bit of a stetch
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"
