Finance

Finance Jokes

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

My wife Jean is happy, ๐Ÿ˜Š pretty, ๐Ÿ˜ and pregnant,๐Ÿคฐ boy, ๐Ÿ‘ฆ am I glad ๐Ÿ˜Š I bought her ๐Ÿ‘ฉ a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

Teacher: โ€œIf you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?โ€

Johnny: โ€œA new bike!โ€

A teacher asks her class, โ€œWhat do you want to be when you grow up?โ€ Little Johnny says โ€œI wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.โ€

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. โ€œAnd you, Susie?โ€ the teacher asks. Susie says โ€œI wanna be Johnnyโ€™s b*tch.โ€

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.