Film jokes
If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
Q. What's Terri Schiavo's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
What is Godzilla’s least favorite ball?
A King Kong ball.
What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?
One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
Morbius was awesome, and the Batman sucked.
If Thomas Running invented running, what did Paul Walker invent?
What is an orphan's least favorite movie? Home.
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
Q: Why do orphans hate Fast and Furious movies?
A: Because they say "family" too often.
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
Alien vs. Predator.