Film jokes
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
What's the favorite Spiderman film for orphans?
Homecoming.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
What is Saturn's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."